Kidnap my heart.

Wednesday, January 30, 20084:27 PM

Finally i'm done with my work. Today is a very busy day for me and I even skip my lunch. Haha. My boss asked me to buy cup noodle to put in the office will be better.

Yawnz. Too tiring to see papers and documents all over my table.

So, I went home yesterday doing nothing and slept super early. I guess is around 9 plus if i'm not wrong. Haha.

Lots and lots of work to do today. But it was quite fun. Raymond always like to disturb me. Well, at least they still joke and talk to me. Today work was super funny. Got lots of joke from them and things that they did.
Ronnie tried testing the office phone for conference call, so he called 2 person and we remain silence. So the 2 people didn't know it was a call from us and they thought was from the person they heard from the phone and they still can talk to each other. Damn funny lahz.

Since I end work quite late today, so I decided to wait for AJ to finish work.

Hmmm. Settle the things with him le. Feel quite sad cause I think I have hurt him. Haiz..

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Tuesday, January 29, 20089:51 AM

Yesterday was a great day! Cause I was not alone at the office for once. Boss are busy rececntly and they seldom come back to the office. So yesterday, all 3 boss were at the office so at least i'm not that bored.

Yeah, and finally I get to meet him yesterday. He came to my workplace to meet me. Went to Bugis to find Chris to brief me about the products at her shop cause i'm helping her to work on this Saturday. Watch 27 dresses with him. Quite a nice and funny movie. Saw JW while having my dinner. He was with his family, haha. After movie, we went to pitstop to find my sister and her colleague to play board games. Not that fun lahz, but at least get to spend some time with him is alright with me.
There were alot of flies inside pitstop, so damn disgusting. Then it was 11pm, so we went off too. Walk to the Mrt station together, and went home. Somehow I feel that time just past so fast whenever i'm with him. Very 不舍得, but still have to go home. No choice.

Reached home later than 12am again. So AJ said this is the 2nd time le. Haha. Always break my promise. Then I told him I feel that I have become cinderella, have to reach home before 12am. Lol.

Too tired, and I slept early. Still have to wake up early for work.

So sick of waking up early everyday for work. Feel like quitting my job soon. Somemore the location is so far away from home, didn't earn much if I minus the transport fare. Yawnz.

AJ gave me morning call to wake me up. I was late for work. Haha. Still get to meet him in the morning before he go off to his site.

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Monday, January 28, 20089:40 AM

Yawnz. It's Monday again. Back to work. Weekends always past very quickly.

Erm, so after work on Friday, I met up with Nick. Supposed to have an outing with the giggles, but Kim said she was not free, so I didn't bother to ask the rest. Nick came to Paya Lebar and meet me, then we headed to Tanah Merah to meet his friend and he fetch us for dinner. Saw Raymond there too. The food there wasn't that great, but still have to thank Nick for the treat. Went to watch The Mist after dinner. The movie is not very fantastic. Only some of the parts are funny. Accompanied Nick to buy a shirt at Tampines Mall. AJ asked me to reach home before midnight but then after the movie ended like 11.30pm. So I took a cab home. While smoking after the movie, there was one uncle came to approach us and asked for $2 and we refused to give. Then he take cigarette from me then I give him. Somemore he still asked for 2 sticks.
Nick sent me home after that cause he said is a guys responsibility. Enjoyed myself with him afterall. He is so gentlemen, so his gf will sure be very fortunate to find bf like him. Haha.

Mum woke me up early on Saturday to go for breakfast. Damn it! Thought it was my off day and I could wake up late. Stayed at home to watch TV after breakfast and I fell asleep until 5pm when I received a call from AJ. Then I saw it was 5pm! Was late in meeting him. Haha.
Went to Suntec for movie and we decided to watch The House. Not a very nice movie but some of the parts were quite scary. After the movie, we walked down to raffles place to fetch my sister from work. Went for dinner then Home sweet home.

Having buddhist class on Sunday. So mum woke me up at 6 plus but I was too tired, so I didn't attend and I told mum I will stayed at home and help her to do spring cleaning at home. Haha. Received a call from Wen Bin to ask about my results again. Then he said Wang Di got 15 pts for L1R4. Damn good lor. But sad thing that his English got E8, so he doesn't have much choices for poly also.
Was quite tiring after cleaning up the whole house. Mum said nobody are allow to go out until we finish cleaning up the house. End up AJ came to find me and I still went out though I didn't finish the whole thing. My sis suggested to watch movie at Yishun. Wanted to watch 27 dresses, but AJ want to watch Rambo 4. So me and my sis watched different movie and said we will meet again after the movie. Nearly fell asleep during the movie cause I was too tired.
Meet my sister after the movie and we went home early at 10pm.

Zi Qiang said I watch movie everyday, so I have watch like almost all the movie lah. Lol. Then suddenly it reminds me of Kim cause I remembered there was once she watched 3 movies in a day. Even more pro. Haha.

Came to work this morning and meet AJ again. Told him I can't meet him tonight cause I got company dinner, but I don't intend to go. Don't know anybody there also.

Might be meeting him later. Don't know whether can make it this time. Something always crop up when we want to meet. Time is just not on our side.

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Friday, January 25, 20081:23 PM

Well, take leave for yesterday for work, so i didn't blog yesterday.

19th birthday celebrations...

Met up with my family after work on wednesday. Mum suggested to go to Clementi for dinner. Went there to eat for the first time. Food there was not bad. Or maybe I was too hungry? Haha.

Sing birthday songs and blow the candles after the dinner.

Then I went to Yishun to find kor after dinner cos he haven't finish work. Waited for him until 10 plus then went to kor's house cos he wanted to bathe and change first. Then Kor said he have to go to Woodlands to fetch a friend. While waiting, then I told Kor maybe is somebody I know cause I stay at Woodlands too. When his friend came down and it was really my friend. Haha. So surprise.

Went to one of kor friend's pub at Geylang. The people there are all very friendly. Then the boss there still treat me to eat the "Mian Sian" with 2 eggs which the chinese belief that chinese have to eat that during their birthday. Was damn full lahz, cause I just had my dinner before going down. So I can't finish the food. Not even the 2 eggs. So I went round feeding people to help me to finish the food. One of the guy is so damn funny. Keep on shaking his head when he saw me walking towards him, but end up also eat.
Then the boss there on the Happy Birthday songs and sang it to me. There was 2 microphone, so he passed one of it to Kor. Kor was shy, so he only sing one part. Quite happy lah, cause everybody in the pub sang Happy Birthday song to me though they don't know me.
Being force to drink cause they said birthday girl have to get drunk. Then kor said have to drink pure martell for 5 seconds, but I requested for 2 seconds and he agree. 1st time drinking Martell without mixer. Taste damn bad. So I keep on drinking plain water.
Get to know a bartender there and he is same age as me. He is quite friendly.
Then when I went to the toilet, the ladies was occupied, so Qi Wen went to the Gents instead. I stand at the Gents to wait for him then the bartender came in. So we chatted and he suddenly asked me not to keep on looking at him cause he was peeing then he will pai sei. Lol. Then I laughed at him. The funniest part was Qi Wen came out from the Gents and he was even more shock and pai sei, then I keep on laughing at him.
Keep on drinking a lot, then was a bit drunk and high. Then the boss and kor force me to go up to the stage and dance pole dance. I refused and Kor carry me up. So pai sei and I wanted to go down. Then Kor don't allow me to do so. I only keep on laughing and anyhow dance and ask kor to carry me down.
I got drunk and the bartender asked me to take care of myself. He keep on giving me warm water to drink and I ran to the toilet to throw up.
Vomitted in kor's car too. But luckily got plastic bag for me. Throw up a lot of times and it kena my shirt also. Damn digusting. Saw AJ waiting for me at my staircase and I was so shock. It was already 3 plus going to be 4 le and he was waiting for me to get home and passed me my birthday present. So touch lahz. But I was too drunk, so didn't talk much and I went home to rest. Woke up halfway from my sleep and ran to the toilet to throw up again. Feeling very uncomfortable. But feel much more better after the last time I vomit.
Sis woke me up like 8 in the morning to ask me to open the present that AJ gave me cause it was a huge present so everybody wanted to know what was it. I was so damn tired but she keep on forcing me to. So I open up the gift and it was a Winnie the Pooh soft toy. It was damn big and heavy that I can't even hug it to sleep. So, I just put it on my bed. Sis was so jealous cause she loves Winnie the Pooh. Haha. Called AJ after I open up the present and thank him for it. Somemore have to make him to wait for me until so late and then I realised that he didn't went home on the previous night and waited all the way until the first train to go home. So this means that he didn't sleep at all and he went to work immediately. I felt so bad.

I was too tired and went back to sleep after hanging up the phone with him. Sleep all the way till 11 plus and mum wakes me up and asked me what time I have to take my results. So I woke up to get prepared also. Ironed my uniform and bathe. Received a call from Alene at 1.30pm and she said we have to reach school by 1.30pm. Haha, and I was still at home. So I took a cab there. The cab driver was so funny and said I don't need to throw my cigarette cause I haven't finished it and he said cigarette very expensive all that. Lol.

The 5N didn't do well this year for Os. Only 50.1% passes in 5 N. Was damn nervous when I heard that. Tears keep on rolling down when I saw my reults slip. 26 points! And I am not satisfied with all the grades I got. I thought I could have done better. Especially my Maths, Humanities and English.
Haiz. Only got 15 courses to go into the poly. Don't know I should be happy or sad. My mum said I am already very fortunate that I can get into poly cause I didn't really work very hard during O level period. Sis also said that too. But did I really never work hard enough? Haiz. I don't know.
I can see that many people from my class didn't do well cause most of them were crying. They only got higher nitec to go.
However, I have to congrats Kim and Alene for their good results. 13 and 14 pts. Can feel their joy and happiness. Abit sad for yang cause he failed his Maths. So he only got 1 course in poly. Hopefully he can get in. So afterall, all the giggles passed their O levels. So we deserve a celebration?
But everybody have to go home to discuss about the course to go with their family so they changed it to Friday instead. So I was quite tired too and I went home. Can say I almost sleep for the whole day yesterday. The only time I was not sleeping was during I went to school.

Wanted to meet him yesterday but I didn't received any of his msg, so I thought he was busy. So I just sleep all the way till 11 plus and received a call from God mum to ask about my results. Then AJ called also and we chatted all the way till 1 plus. Saw my sis was looking at my results and looking at the course that I am eligible to go. So we chatted and discuss about it till 3 plus and I went to bed.

Woke up super early today to meet AJ for breakfast. Reach there at 9am. First time go work so early. Haha.

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Wednesday, January 23, 200810:06 AM

Well, Happy Birthday to me! This year will be a boring birthday for me I guess.

Everything isn't going smoothly for me.

Well, I can't even be bothered about it now lahz. Monday and Tuesday is jut damn so boring.

Having dinner with family tonight, hopefully, it will be a good one.

Slept super early yesterday. Woke up in the morning and received lots of messages from friends wishing me happy birthday. Haha. Super surprise when I saw Jin Yi message me too. Unexpected.

One of my boss, Raymond say they will bring me out for lunch today for my birthday. Haha. He is the most "wu sim" wan lahz. only he remembered.

Kor called me early in the morning. Thought cause of my birthday he want to drive me to work. Lol. But then he asked me out tonight to go to pub to celebrate. Then I agree. If not this year birthday sure damn boring. At least get to go for a drink to enjoy will be better. Better still drink until I get drunk then I won't be able think so much.

Actually wanted to ask him to join me for dinner tonight with my family. But he have to work ba. Still remembered how nervous and shy he was when he joined me for family dinner. Haha

Meet AJ in the morning again. Chat for awhile. Then he said he can't make it for dinner tonight. So, it's alright. Cause I'm joining Kor after dinner also. Raymond and maybe Ronnie will be there too. I told him I won't be home early cause going to pub then he like quite unhappy. Lol.

Alene came to my office yesterday. She is damn funny lahz. Travel all the way here just to play the computer. Then suddenly my boss came back then I was so shocked. Luckily both of them said nothing. Went home with Alene and we bought the Aloe Vera for our face. Don't know how true it is, but just give it a try. Haha.

Results will be out tomorrow. scare that my dreams really comes true. If it come true then guys, be prepared to see me appearing in newspaper tomorrow. I will commit suicide.

Basically, that's all!

Mum is so funny lah. Say she will buy cigarette for me as birthday gift. Lol

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Tuesday, January 22, 200810:01 AM

Erm, So the giggles meeting was cancelled yesterday. Don't wish to talk about it anymore. Changed it to Thursday instead cause everybody won't be working on that day, and it's the result day.
Feel quite bad to Zhen Kang also to make him go to woodlands to meet him and I told him it's cancelled. Damn pai sei. Luckily he was not angry.
So, Alene quarrelled with her mum. Somehow I think part of it was my fault cause I asked to go out and her mum didn't allow.
Yesterday everything just didn't turn out good. What a bad day!

So I meet AJ instead since i'm not meeting the giggles. Then received a call from him. He msg me after that saying that actually he wanted to find me but I was with him, so he worried for nothing. I feel quite bad lahz. But he didn't say so earlier and of cos I wouldn't want to spend my day alone so I meet AJ.

Seems like problems between us is still there even after the break up? I don't want it either. I tried not to have arguement and quarrel with him. I hope we can settle everything calmly and not to get so piss everytime?
I think for the whole night after u didn't reply to my msg. I want to think of a way, a solution, to solve the problems between us.
Recently, u have become so ridiculous. U are sensitive and get jealous easily. Even when i'm trying to be understanding, u were also angry. I'm hurt by what u always said to me in an arguement, but I tried my best not to argue with u. I still try to talk to u nicely. Did u realise u are the one who always started to start a quarrel?

数到五答应我
第一次看着你就为你心动聪明的我怎能让你走
第二次看见你我竟然失控是我的错请你原谅我
第三次看见你想要告诉你我真的爱你是真的爱你
第四次看着你我有些要求请你能够安安静静的聆听
一.让我保护你二.让我照顾你
三.所有的要求不能当作游戏
四.接受这命运
五.永远不分离说你愿意
那最后一个一定要说你愿意

Want be your lover want be your man
我只希望给你多一点我只要你开心多一点
Can you be my lover don"t wanna be your friend
给你幸福每一天给你幸福到永远因为我
Want be your lover want be your man

你说你害怕因为受过伤
不需要害怕因为我不是他

Anyway, I had a bad dream last night. I dreamt that my English teacher, Miss Nora, came all the way to pass me my results. I got a T for my English and I failed all the subjects. Haiz. Hope that dreams doesn't come true.

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Monday, January 21, 20085:28 PM

Happened to view one of my schoolmates blog and take this test about getting to know myself better and I find it quite true.

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

well, if u guys are bored too, can try out this test at http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

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1:21 PM

Celebrating my birthday with the giggles. Haha.. Miss them!

So, didn't do anything on friday. Meet AJ after work. As usual. Went for dinner then we went home. yawnz. A boring friday!

Stayed at home for the whole day on Saturday. Sleep all the way. Woke up and watch DVD. Too bored. Then went to woodlands centre to help kor buy his working pants.
Went to buddhist class at night cause mum force me to. no choice. Received a sms from Zi Qiang and he said that he miss me cause I didn't accompany to fetch my sister today. Lol. Thought he was the one who want to bet with me first. Just the 1st week and he miss me so much. Lol.

Supposed to meet kor on Sunday, then I thought he start work at 6pm. Waited for his call till 1 plus and he never call. Then AJ called me. So I went to meet him instead. Then we got no place to go, so we went back to his hostel to watch dvd with his colleague. kor called me say he finish work at 6pm and not start work at 6pm. Lol. So I heard wrongly. Then I waited for him to call me when he finish work but he didn't. So I didn't meet him and went for dinner with AJ and his colleague. As it was late, not much of choices to choose. Most of the stall has closed. He sent me home after that.
Met Zi Qiang at the lift. Haha.

Mum's worker sent me to work today. Happy. Don't need to squeeze in the crowded MRT for once. Then got a lot of jam all that. So I was late. Then he dropped me at Lavender and I took the MRT instead. Yawnz. Don't know for what reason there's disruption for train in between Tanah Menah and Pasir Ris. At 1st I thought luckily I was not affected but then the train keep on delaying one stop after another. Stop like 5 mins in each stop. Sianz.

Received a sms from Naddy. So it's confirm the results will be out on Thurs, 24th Jan. Somehow I got no confidence of passing cause of the lot that I had pick last year. Superstitious? Haha.

Ken is on leave today cause his father-on-law has passed away. Sad news. So i'm super super free today.

Can't wait to see the gigglets later. Hopefully Alene can join us too. Pray Hard!

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Friday, January 18, 200810:18 AM

Yesterday was a great day and fun outing with the gigglets. Too bad Alene didn't join us. If not it will be more fun. So, I was late. They meet 8.30pm at AMK hub and I reach there at 9.20pm. HAha. Love it! Especially the way Kim get piss. So cute. Meet them at New York New York while they were having their dinner. Gossiping and bitch around with Kim is never boring. Found out something lame about Men Xiao Jie. Haha. She is far too exaggerating. Never change. LOL. Catch up with alot of things after not meeting the gigglets for quite some time. Think the last time I meet them was during the Prom night. Took tons of picture. Will update the picture soon! We went to play the shooting game at arcade and reminds me of him again. Then we played Daytona and I got 1st. Haha. My heels got stuck in the accelerator pedal and Kim laughed at me. Then I took it out and it was ok. When we were going off then Kim realised that her heels was stuck too.. Damn funny!! and I laughed back at her.
For the 1st time, I sat on the floor. Me and Kim were reluctant to sit on the floor at 1st. Then Syafiq force us to and we really did. OMG! Feel so UBs. But it was fun. Photo taking again! This time, we put timer so that everybody is in the picture. People alighting from the bus looked at us. Damn pai sei lah. Lol.
Kim suddenly like change a lot. Suddenly don't allow me to smoke. then I have to bear with it till we were about to go off. She is also getting more vain. She is excessively concerned about her appearance. Haha. Don't worry Kim, u are still as pretty as the last time.
We took the last train home if i'm not wrong? It was getting late and I was afraid I couldn't catch the last bus home too. Trained to woodlands with yang and syafiq. Everybody like very envious of Kim cause she stay at Bishan. Lol. On the way to woodlands was a boring one cause me, yang and syafiq never talk at all. Guess we were too tired. They sat on the floor and for the first time again, I sat on the MRT floor. A bit malu but far too tired to care so much.

Managed to catch the bus home. Received a call from AJ and he was worried about me for going home alone late at night? Lol. So I talked to him all the way till I reach home.

Sms him cause I miss him. He wanted to join me at first but knowing that AJ was with me and it sort of help him make up his mind? Okok. Had some arguement with him. Why is this never ending? Thought everything goes well before that. Why do we have to end up in a quarrel all the time?
Everything was solve today, and i'm glad!

Meet AJ again this morning. He passed me the comics and send me to the lift. Everybody who took the same lift as me today was damn friendly lah. Joke around and I don't even know them but just smile to them if not like very dao.

Vincent came to office today again. He is forever entertaining. At least I don't feel bored when he is at the office.

Have to help kor buy things later again. Yawnz... But at least i'm glad that he found a job. Congrats to him! So I don't mind helping him since it is for work. So will be meeting AJ after work and he can accompany me to go and buy for kor and send me home. at least i'm not alone anymore.

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Thursday, January 17, 20084:32 PM

Waited for AJ till 7pm yesterday. Ronnie also stay in the office till 7 plus. So I help him out. Sadly, I don't know how to do most of the things. Haha.. These few days always stay in the office till so late. Too bad don't have OT. If not my pay sure increase by alot. lol..

AJ waited for me at the lift downstair, then we went to Bedok to eat and walk around. Nothing much over there, so we just chit chat then he send me home. Suppose to meet mummy at Chinatown, but I didn't go. Haha.

I'm addicted to the comic Hareluya Boy which I borrowed from AJ. The comics was damn nice. Keep on reading till I never work. Lol.

Received a msg from him yesterday and he said he cannot make it today. yawnz. It's alright. I think this is not the first time anyway? Whatever. To think I am still so stupid that I acutally thought of cancelling the meeting with Kim so that I can accompany him. Luckily I didn't cause somehow I can sense that something might happen and I was RIGHT! But can't blame him lahz. He got his stuff to do and who am I to get piss anyway? So Kim is meeting me at 8.30pm. I have like 3 hrs of free time after work before meeting them. Suppose to meet him for lunch, then suddenly... Sian diao... So AJ say it's alright. He accompany me for dinner 1st since we are working at the same block. Then he can send me there also so that I won't be alone. Haha. Luckily. If not I don't know what to do or where to go.

As usual, meet AJ downtairs again. Talk for awhile then we went to work.

Something happened piss me off today. While going to lunch with Ken today, when I was about to go into the lift, 1 of the stupid uncle go and close the door and the door hit me. Argh! Damn piss. Don't know whether he is blind or what. I'm standing right in front and he can't even see. I would have point him middle finger if Ken is not there. Wtf. Then Ken just hold me and ask me if i'm alright. Luckily nothing serious happen. If not I will ask that uncle to pay medical fee for me.
Ken drive me out to other places to eat today. Think he is also sick of the food at the coffee shop downstairs.

Nothing much to do for work today cause Ronnie is not here today. Haha.. So I spent most of the time reading comics during office hour. Haha.

Meeting Kim, yang and Syafiq later. Haha.. Excited!

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Wednesday, January 16, 200812:37 PM

Fail my FTT yesterday. Yawnz. But expected.

Waited for AJ till7pm yesterday. Then we went to SSDC together and I was late for taking the test. It's alright lah. Cause I always finish very fast. Haha. Then AJ waited for me outside the room while i'm taking the test. Went to Causeway Point for dinner after that and he sent me home.

Mum was at home and I intro him to my mum. Haha.. Mummy keep on asking who is he and what is he doing all tat stuff. A bit kpo lah, ask till as if he is my bf like that. Lol. AJ was pai sei also.

Chatted with him on the phone till1am and I went to bed.

Was late for work today. Overslept! Too lazy to wake up. Yawnz. Rushed to work. As I was late, AJ has already left. So didn't see him today. Then suddenly he shock me when I received a msg from him saying that he is at hospital. Thought something happened to him and I nearly go off from work and visit him. Then he called me and say cause he need to renew his work permit, so have to go to the hospital for check up. Lol. Then he laugh at me, and said I kena trick easily.

Sis suggested going to Chinatown today and Mum agree. She asked to me to go too and I told her i'm meeting AJ for movie. Can see that she was quite pissed lah. So I was confused. Don't know whether I am joining to go to chinatown or meet AJ for movie. Still can't make a decision yet. Don't want to disappoint the both of them. Somemore I had already promised AJ to go for a movie tonight. Haiz.

Went to the office, and saw Vincent. Surprised as he seldom go to the office. We chatted till noon and Ah Boon came to fetch him to the site. Haha. So I was not doing work for 3 hours and the time past just like that. Fast! Talked about many things. About his life in the past, how bad he was. Interesting! Then we talked about my birthday and he said we can go pub for drink and Ken pay the bill. Lol. Good idea! Then I can save money for my birthday this year. haha.
Vincent suggested that he will be staying over at the Singapore Air show site during the airshow period. Hmmm. I was thinking that was not a bad idea. Somemore will be damn tired after the airshow and still have to travel a long journey home is also quite tiring, then the next day still have to wake up early to go back to the site. So just might as well stay there for 5 nights. Still can save transport money also. Haha. Heard from Vincent that staying over there is not bad cause got sea view, plasma Tv and Sofa to sleep. Hmmm. Can consider. But home is still the best. haha...

Done 3 mistake for work today again. My memory is getting more and more lousy. Die Die Die!

Received a sms from him today again! Haha. Should I be happy? That was what I wanted and waited since last week. So........ I should be happy!

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Tuesday, January 15, 20084:23 PM

Going to take my Final Theory Test today. In 3 hrs and 30 mins time. Somehow i don't feel nervous at all cause I know I am going to fail.

Saw AJ downstairs again when going to work, but saw him busy working, so didn't went to find him and went to wait for the lift. When I was opening the letter box, suddenly he appeared from behind and scare me. Haha. Gave me a shock.

Didn't go anywhere yesterday. So went straight home after work. AJ wanted to send me home, but he finished work late so I didn't bother to wait for him as I was tired. Went to bed super early at 8 plus. Never do that for a long time. Shiok. But then, received a lot of calls and msgs while sleeping, I was too tired to even look at it so I just heck care. Then the phone keep on ringing after the caller hang up. I was damn pissed, so I just answer, and it was AJ. Dotz. I told him I was sleeping then he said this is the 1st time that he called. Damn Pai Sei. Scold the wrong person. So I apologise. Chat with him for awhile and he sang to me to sleep and I really fell asleep. Haha. Too tired.

Woke up in the morning, saw his msg. Surprise!

Learnt accounting today again. But easy want lahz. Lucky. Still got a bit blur though.

Received a msg from Kim just now. Meeting at 8pm on Thursday! Didn't catch up with "giggles" for a long time. Hopefully Alene can make it too. Miss all of them! Can't wait to bitch, gossip and crap with them again. Miss those life.

Waiting for AJ to finish work at 6 again. Yawnz. He want to accompany me to SSDC for the test and send me home.. Think he is going to be my bodyguard soon if he keep on sending me home everyday. Not bad huh? Somemore it's free! Lol.

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Monday, January 14, 20081:08 PM

Hmmm.. These few days, work is quite busy for me. As Gyan won't be working here anymore, I will be taking over her job. Have to help Ronnie too. OMG! He is FIERCE!

Just finished another trainng session for the UBS software today. Yawnz. Learn accounting. Though I didn't take POA in school, I can learn it from work. Not bad huh? Accounting is not that easy. Still have a lot for me to learn. Feel as if I am back to school again. haha..

So, Friday, supposingly, have to meet my sis at 6pm at orchard, bu then Ah Jian called and say he can only come back at 6.30. So I waited for him to finish work and stay in the office alone until 6.30. Then received a call from him and he said he won't be able to make it due to work and he have to work OT. Was quite piss cause I waited for nothing, and I was late to meet my sis. So I went off immediately after he hang up the phone and I saw him waiting for me outside. Haha. Shock and surprise. He laughed at me and say I am petty. Lol. Then I was pai sei then keep on laughing.
Headed down to City Hall to meet my sis and her friend. It has been a long time since I meet them. Had a lot of fun then cause there was no place for us to go, everydosy decided to go home. Then me, my sis and Ah Jian went to Plaza Singapura to meet her bf. Find a place to sit down and chat. Wanted to catch the last train but couldn't make it on time. So we took cab home. Damn expensive lah. Argh!

Met up with Bei Fen on Saturday. Went to her house. Gossiping, chit-chatting and sleep. Then I went off during evening and meet Zi Qiang to go to Boat Quay together. Then Zi Qiang was late. So I went to Yishun to get somthing then I realised the Toysarus there was closed long ago. Silly me. So I meet Zi Qiang to go Suntec instead. As we were going to be late to fetch my sis, we ran all the way from City Hall Mrt Station to Suntec. Tired, and I keep on coughing. Bought the things that I want to get for him and cab down to Boat Quay. Rush to 7 eleven to buy the Milk Tea that he likes and rush down to mind cafe. Luckily they still haven't finish work. So I met him, walked to the MRT station then I passed the things to him and that's it. Bye to him? A new life. Hmmm.

So Sunday! Didn't go anywhere. Ah Jian came to find me, so we went to Woodlands Centre have a chat and went home. Then meet my sis and her bf at night for dinner. On the way home, Ah Jian called my sis then we pluck in ear piece to listen what he was telling my sis about me. Haha. Keep on laughing but I control my laughter to prevent him from hearing it. Lol. Reach home around 11 then chatted with Ah Jian and off to bed.

Went to work early today due to some software training. Called Ah Jian when I reached my workplace then he pass me cigarette which he bought it from Malaysia. A new brand. So he bought it for me to try. Haha. Can save money for cigarette again.

My birthday is coming soon. 9 more days and I'll turn 19! having final theory test tomorrow. Yawnz! Sure fail lahz. Haven't do any revision.

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Friday, January 11, 20084:09 PM

Miss him! If there's really "wang qing sui", I will definitely buy it no matter how much it cost. It is just too torturing for me to keep on thinking of him and yet knowing he won't be there for me anymore.

When u're gone

I always needed time on my own I'd never thought I need you there when I cried
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
In the bed where you lie is made upon your side When you walk away I count the steps that you take Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone the pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone the face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone the words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make me ok
I miss you

I heaven't felt this way before Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes your left the lyin' of the floor And the smell just like you
I love the things that you do When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
I miss you we were made of each other I keep forever I know we were yeah yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can heardly breathe I need to feel you hear with me yeah

I got the pass for the Singapore Airshow today. Will be going to that site soon in end of Jan. Somehow I don't feel excited anymore. I still remember how I used to joke with him about finding those ang moh from there and marry them, and he said he will go over there to make sure I don't do that. Those were the memories. Haiz.

I miss u!

Thinking of the past, I remembered there was once when I was having dinner at his place, we were talking about our past, talking about our life. Suddenly I asked him this question, "Do u think we will last?" He said yes. I wish that it could be true. Haiz... But now, I guess now, I’ll never know.

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Thursday, January 10, 20083:51 PM

Listening to this song now and I think the lyrics is what I want to say to him.

Never be replace

Baby I love you and I'll never let you go
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promise you that you will never be replaced

I love you, yes I do
I'll be with you as long as you want me to
Until (until) the end (the end) of time

From the day I met you I knew we'd be together
And now I know I wanna be with you forever
I wanna marry you, and I wanna have your kids
It can never compare to the feeling of your kisses
I can say I'm truly happy to this day
You`ve made me thank God that I live my life everyday
There's never been a doubt, in my mind
That I regret ever having you by my side
But if the day comes that I have to let you go
I think there's something I should probably let you know
Enjoy everyday, that I spend with you
And I will miss you cause I'm happy that I had you at all

boy, yes i doI`ll be with you as long as you want me to
Until, the end, of time

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3:45 PM

相爱总是简单相处太难不是你的就别再勉强
只不过想好好爱一个人
算了吧就这样忘了吧该放就放再想也没有用傻傻等待他也不会回来

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3:00 PM

Finally I'm done with all my work! Too many things to be done today.

Kor came to find me in the morning for breakfast. Then when I went back to the office, saw his reply in friendster. Tears started rolling from eyes. I realised something, all this while I am the selfish one and I am at fault to cause all this problems. I didn't spare a thought for him before. I only think for myself. I do everything in a very harsh way and hurt him and I didn't realised. So, serve me right to get hurt in the end.

After a talk with him, I feel much more better now. At least I know my mistake and I won't repeat again. Though we are not together anymore, I wish him all the best. I know he hate me now. It's alright. Blame myself for that. Take it as a lesson.

I know it hurts, but I believed I can. Life still goes on. Everything will be alright soon. Don't wish to be a burden to him and add on to his stress anymore. Come to think of it, I am 5 years younger, that's why we have different mindset and thinking which he find it childish. I have to accept it cause this is the fact. Being together with me is his loss. I make him suffer with me. He had already make the decision to go on our separate ways. I will support every decision he made. Maybe one day I still have to thank him to let me realised my mistake and not repeat it again, and I can improve and have a better relationship in the future.

My boss was shocked when he came to the office. haha. He asked me to take a rest and I can knock off early today.

To my Sister, Shu hui, Zi Qiang and friends,
sorry that I have disappoint u all once again when I gave u my promise. But I can't do it. Hope u all will understand after reading this post. I don't know how to tell u all face to face. I don't know whether u all will say I am silly or what, but I understand the whole situation the best. So just let me decide on my own. I will be alright! Everything will be alright. So, thanks for all of your concern and don't have to worry about me anymore.

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Wednesday, January 9, 20084:01 PM

I guess everything you said was a lie
I think about it, it brings tears to my eyes
Now I’m not even a thought in your mind
I can see clearly, my love is not blind

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2:36 PM

Keep on listening to this song and I find it meaningful which is suitable for me to tell him.

再见了我的最爱你真的是我的唯一我想你真的很想你不知道你想我吗其实我很烦恼你知道吗只是你看不到我我应该等的爱情自己不要再去想念你为什么我那么爱你我得不到回报因为失去那种痛没有人知道只有我一个人才敢着偷哭你真的好自私呀已经离我而去我的心真的好痛你感觉得到吗真想被你知道我是多么的爱你不要再逃避好吗我爱你但也狠狠地可是我一直珍惜你放弃你当我做不到你知道我难受吗我一心一意都是为你而你却说我们有距离我应该等的爱情自己不要再去想念你为什么我那么爱你我得不到回报因为失去那种痛没有人知道只有我一个人才敢着偷哭你真的好自私呀已经离我而去我的心真的好痛你感觉得到吗真想被你知道我是多么的爱你不要再逃避好吗(Music)我恨你自私恨你绝情恨你曾经放弃我为什么你要我难过你不肯接受我但是我真的后悔我留不到你我伤心我难过我哭的更多你知道那种感觉总是围绕着我我试过不去想你但我真的难受我只想告诉你我永远都爱你我却忘记不了你

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10:42 AM

OMG! My left eyelid just twitch. I'm really very worried something bad might happen to him. Worried sick yet still can't contact him. I really don't know what to do now! Somebody please help me!

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9:52 AM

Well, So I met up with Ah Jian and his colleague after work yesterday. We went for a movie. Alien VS Predator 2. Basically, I don't really understand the movie. But overall is still ok. Some parts are quite exciting.
Ah Jian send me home after the movie. On the way home, I received a call from my sister and she asked me to meet her at Xin Wang at Marina Square but I didn't want to go cause it reminds me of him. Had a nice chat with Ah Jian and he keep on consoling me and ask me not to think so much about it. So, I listen to him and I believe I can do it. Somehow I am beginning to forget him cause I got Ah Jian by my side now.

Going to watch movie with my mum and sis tonight and my sis chose the location at Jurong Point. I didn't really want to go cause it reminds me of him again. But do I have a choice? Just hope everything will be over soon!

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Tuesday, January 8, 20085:35 PM

All good things come to an end! This songs is very suitable for me now. I find it very meaningful.
Flames to dust Lovers to friends Why do all good things come to an end? Yes! We have come to an end. That's the end of our story. Recently I can't concentrate in work. Making a lot of mistake, sending wrong info to customer. Luckily my boss is good enough for not scolding me. I can't stop thinking of him. Suddenly feel like killing myself to stop all this suffering.

While working today, I think of him. Thinking of the 1st day when I met him. The sweet him I knew. The time when he always accompanied me during my Os and encouraging me. Those time when I went to Malaysia and how much he told me he have missed me. Come to think of it, those were the time when we were not yet together. Did we made the wrong decision being together? Should we have just remain as friend so that all this wouldn't have happen? Gary Seet, I really miss u! Can u come back to me?

Staying in the office alone till 7pm. Feel so lonely, but at least I got the time on my own. I can do whatever I want. I can cry like nobody business. That' y I am blogging now. Till now I still can't believe that he can don't contact me at all. I can't even do it even if I'm enjoying. This shows that I am not important to him at all. So I was wrong about him. I thought I am the one for him.

I wore a disguise cause I didn’t want to get hurt. But I didn’t know I made everything worse. You told me we were crazy in love, but you didn’t care when push came to shove. If you loved me as much as you said you did, then you wouldn’t have hurt me like I ain’t shit. Now you pushed me away like you never even knew me. I loved you with my heart, really and truly.

Somehow I feel that I am lucky enough cause I still have friends around me to console me and be there for me. I have to thank Teddy, Nick, Ah Jian, Zi Qiang and my sis. At least they called to ask me how am I and accompany me all this while. I am really glad. I don't know what to do without them around. So I think I should feel fortunate enough. I shouldn't complain anymore.

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10:03 AM

Haiz. He didn't contact me yesterday. Not even one sms or a call. Sometimes I am wondering, does he really love me? Or is he playing with my feelings? I feel like an idiot waiting for his call and sms for the whole night when he didn't even think of me at all. Silly me.

I don't wanna think so much anymore. I treat it as I don't have such a bf before.

Really regretted being with him.

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Monday, January 7, 200810:45 AM

Went to meet my sis and Zq after work on friday. Then we went to Circuit Rd to eat and headed down to East Coast Park after our dinner. As it was raining, we went to the arcade to play instead. It has been quite some time since I played DDR and Para Para. The last time I played was like few years ago. Haha. Then dear came to meet us after his work and we went to the beach to sit down and chit chat. Never had a proper chat with him for very long le. So i'm happy on that day. Only the part when we were going home, cause dear was tired and he wanted to take a cab but I suggested to take bus instead cause I want to spent more time with him as he is going to Malaysia soon. Can see that he is really very tired then his attitude is quite bad, but I didn't want to get angry because of this. At least he came down to find me after work which I already appreciate. What more can I ask for?

I woke up early during Saturday morning even though it was my off day. Cause dear need to get balloon for decoration for his work and I know he sure couldn't make it and wake up on time to get the balloons and go to work. So I woke up early and went to search around for balloons. Finally I found it and went over to his house to pass it to him. Reach there too early and he was still sleeping. Didn't want to disturb him so I waited outside his house for him and waited for him to wake up. Feel quite bored and waiting there for him reminds me of the time when he just came back from camp and I surprised him by waiting at the same place for him for 2 hours. Then suddenly received a call from dear and I went over to his house. He doesn't seems surprise, but nvm. Accompany him to work and shun bian find my sis for awhile. Then have to wait for kor to come and fetch me, so I wait inside mind cafe and talked to my sis. When finally kor reach le, I went up to find dear and say goodbye to him. So sweet of him when he gave me a goodbye kiss.
Then kor drove to Geylang to buy Hot 100 as it is cheaper over there and we went to office to take charger. Still have to go back to office during off day. Sianz. Shock those Bangla when I went back to office. Haha. Received a call from Alene suddenly then we wanted to go and find her then suddenly she said don't need then suddenly asked us to go again. Then kor got a bit piss. Then don't know whether we have to go or not, so we went to buy 4D first. The queue was super long. Suddenly this lady shouted at an Indian guy infront and said he didn't queue up. The Indian guy scolded back and said that his friend is queueing for him. Lol. After that we went to meet kor's friend and then went to KTV pub. Both of themgot China girl to accompanied them then the Mummy over there joke and say the don't have Man for me. Lol. So I just sing all the way while kor and his friend were busy flirting.
It was 9pm then I asked kor to drive me to Boat Quay and I went over to find dear and my sis. but then they finished work long ago so I meet them at Lau Pa Sat instead cause dear wants to eat dessert. Dear was like quite angry cause he thought I drink a lot, but I didn't lahz. I already promised him I won't and I kept my promised.

So yesterday I woke up in the morning as I thought dear is going to Malaysia in the morning. So I sms him but he didn't reply. Then received a call from Teddy and I meet him, xiao Eric and si kai at 167 while waiting for the others. Met up with Fabian and his friend and went to Penisula Plaza. Called Evone but she was sleeping so we went without her. Suddenly received a call from kor and he asked me to help him buy 4D cause he is at Malaysia. Couldn't find any Singapore pools over there, so Teddy and Eric try helping me to make phone call and asked people to help me buy but nobody was free. Last solution was to ask dear to help me then he was quite piss and we quarrel over such a small mattter. Haiz. Thought he should be the one to be the 1st to help me? But cause I know something will be happening if I asked him for help and I was RIGHT! I just don't understand why Teddy and Eric are willing to help and they are only friend. Why can't my bf do the same? I don't know why we will quarrel over such matter so I can only blame myself for asking him to help to cause such a quarrel. Haiz. Then I received no more sms from him le. Unable to contact him and I guessed he is already at Malaysia.
Then Eric have to go home for dinner at 6.30pm and we planned to go over for dinner. Suddenly like one whole group of people went over to his house then we were afraid to shock his mum. Lol. So we went over for dinner and the corn rice that his mum cooked was very nice. Miss it! Her mum was super good. I also want this kind of mum can I?
After dinner, we played poker and loser have to drink. Eric got Jack Daniel and it was quite nice? I guess. Eric was damn unlucky. He keep on losing and drank alot. Then when everybody cannot make it, Evone went to the washroom then me and Eric suggest to change card and sabo Evone. When she came back, me and Eric got Black Jack then Evone have to drink 2 cups. haha. Poor her. By that time, Teddy was drunk and he slept. We woke him up when all of us were about to go home and I went to Civic Centre to meet my sis and her friends. Sat there and chit chat and found out that one of her friend work at the same place as me. So coincident. Exactly the same block. So we exchange numbers and agree to meet up for lunch or chat after work someday.

This morning I woke up and received a msg from JW. Surprised! Don't feel like going for work but no choice cause got some training on the new software. Listen till I nearly fall asleep. So tiring. Yawnz.

Dear still haven't contact me till now. haiz. What's happening between us? Really feel like giving up, but I know I can't.

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Friday, January 4, 20082:11 PM

I passed my Basic Theory Test Today! I thought I also couldn't make it this time cause I only do last minute study and I just flip through. Miracles happen! Haha.. So I went to book for the Final Theory Test which is on the 15 Jan. That was fast. Haha.

Yesterday, I went to Orchard after work to meet him. The moment I saw him I got the urge to go and hug him to tell him how much I miss him. But I didn't have the courage to do so. We were ok the moment we met. No more quarrels. Lucky! Then we went to watch I Am Legend. The movie is not as nice as I have expected, but cause I watch with him, so i don't mind. We walked down to Far East Plaza to shop for awhile and we left. Had a nice chat with him on the way home. Just hope that we can remain this way so that our relationship will last!

Love Him Lots!

Kc always asked me to quit smoking. Haha. And finally today I promised him Maxinum 6 stick a day. If not he won't be talking to me anymore. So I got no choice but to do it. Just can't allow him to stop talking to me if not I will feel weird. It has already become a habit of sharing with him everything that has got to do with my life.

Anyway, 19 more days to go and I am 19! Haha..

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Thursday, January 3, 20084:47 PM

I'm here to post again. Cause I am far too bored. I thought he will come and fetch me from work today. End up I received a msg from him to meet him at orchard at 6.15. Haiz. Then he didn't check the time slot for the movie and he asked me to check instead. Things has change. Does he really love me? Or am I being too sensitive? I came to work this morning in a good mood cause finally I get to meet him, and I can't wait for the time to past. He is too cold to me today. I don't feel the love from him anymore. The feeling sucks. It really hurts. Where is the Gary I used to have?

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3:37 PM

I miss u! I miss those times when I always go down to mind cafe to fetch u from work. Can we still remain that way? Can we?

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10:56 AM

Mum is such a bitch. I know I will be struck by lightning calling her a bitch but I can't stop myself from calling her that. She saw the cigarette in my bag and she threw it away! I didn't even realise cause she didn't say anything. It was only until I went out and I realised my cigarette went missing. What the shit! Waste my money to buy another pack. Argh!

Went to watch National treasure yesterday. The show was interesting. Quite a nice show. Don't know whether it is the problem with my phone or the problem with the network. I didn't receive his messages at all and I thought he doesn't bother about him anymore. I became so damn unreasonable. Haiz. What the hell am I exactly doing? I hurt him again. I'm really sorry about it! I don't want this to happen either. This is just not me.

To Gary Seet... If u are reading this, I just wanna apologise for the things i've done that hurt u. Actually I am not angry with u and I trust u the moment u explained everything to me. It's just the influence and advice from people around me. I didn't mean to do that to u. I'm sorry that I hurt u.

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Wednesday, January 2, 20081:03 PM

Was listening to songs and suddenly heard this song which I think it is exactly suitable for me now.

Apologise

I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-Now it's turning blue, and you say..."Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too lateBridge (guitar/piano)
It's too late to apologize, it's too lateI said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize,
yeah-I'm holdin on your rope,
got me ten feet off the ground

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10:01 AM

I give up on him totally. Not the first time le. Haiz. Is it really so coincidence everytime? I expected it before he told me everything. Already disappointed enough that i'm unable to spend my new year with him, but i'm more disappointed that he doesn't care. He went MIA for the whole night which makes me worry more than angry. 2 days before new year we were still so happy and sweet, and I feel touch by everything things he had done. Even if it is just a minor thing, I felt the warmth he gave. Fetching me from woodlands, hugging and comfort me to sleep. I already feel contented which makes me love him even more. But why? Suddenly u left me all alone again. Haiz.
While walking from Boat Quay to esplanade with kor to find my sis and her bf, it reminds me of him again. The day when we first met, we also walk from Boat Quay to Esplanade. How I wish he was there too.

Anyway, just received a sms from my sis. OMG, I had forgotten about the my coming BTT. I didn't study at all. It is on this coming friday. Hope that I can pass this time. Somehow I got this feeling I can't make it this time too. Totally got no mood to study for it and I think I can't get anything in my mind now.

Hmmm, somehow I managed to enjoy myself during the countdown. Kor drove to expressway and his car breakdown suddenly. Haha. Then we have to wait for the EMAS to come and tow the car to Mandai. So no car during new year. Lol. It's alright. Think of the bright side, kor gets to drink and enjoy as much as he wants.

My friends just asked me what's my New Year resolution? Hmmm. I can't answer to that question. Perhaps being a good and filial daughter to listen to my mum and not to go home late often? Not to let my mum worry about me? Cherish my loved ones and people around me? Be a better and understanding gf? Quarrel with him lesser? Study and work hard and spend my time wisely?

To sum up about 2007, thinking of what i've done for the year, I felt that I have wasted it. Didn't spend my time wisely. Everything i've done is affecting the people around me. Especially my family. I think I hurt my mum the most. I didn't study hard enough. I've play too much. I've done too many silly and childish things.

Gotta stop here. No mood to blog anymore...
I hate u, but I love u more!

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