Feeling very tired right now. I realised that no matter how much I sleep, I still feel tired. Not even once I feel energetic. Is there something wrong with me? Really envy those people who can sleep for 3 to 4 hours but still feel energetic the next day. Wonder how they do it.

I really want that there's a day that I go to work full of energy and don't look so sloppish. Who doesn't want it? I really hate myself to go to work in this way. Ken and Ronnie always said I look so blur. No matter what I do, I am always blur. So Ronnie doesn't really trust me in handling work for I.D PL and LLP. Maybe he find that it will be too complicated for me to handle too many company. Initially it was, but when I get used to it, everything was fine with me. I doubt that anybody can pick up everything when they 1st do it. Everything need experience. Everyone starts from the beginning and get to adapt it slowly isn't it? So I wasn't happy when Ronnie wanted to go through the PL thing with me together. I think I can handle it alone.



Another thing I am unhappy about, a friend of mine, or can I don't consider him as a friend? Owe me fcuking 150 bucks and I didn't get it back. Unable to contact him. Call himself a guy. OMG. Such a disgrace! Now I know, can't be too helpful. It doesn't pay to be kind.
150 buck can get me 3 cartons of cigarattes. Lol.

Now I understand why Ronnie doesn't trust me in doing things for PL. Everything screw up. SHIT. I felt that i'm useless. I made a BIG BIG BIG MISTAKE. I generate and overwrite the whole file for DNK PL. Ken and Vincent was laughing at me cause I have wasted all my effort and things that i've done for last week. So I have to re-do everything again. That was not a problem. I don't mind. Cause I was the cause of all these problems. The problem now is the software is having error and faulty now. So can't do anything. Can't solve the problem. Seriously I think that I am useless. Feel like crying but i'm holding back my tears. I was laughing on the outside to my colleague and boss, but I don't feel good inside. Called the software company and she can't solve it too. So she said her colleague will come over tomorrow. So i can't do anything today. Feel like shit right now. Called Ken and he doesn't sound happy anymore. I know I have really done a big mistake today. FCUK.