I used to look forward to reach my office because when I msn, I could chat with u like nobody business, not afraid of whether I remember to delete the messages, ur number from the call register and I can talk whatever I want with u.
2nd thing I look forward to is to log in to the pet society receiving those gift and letters from u. It is always sweet and brighten up my day. The feeling is always nice to receive some messages that can make me smile and melts my heart in the morning and the mood will be good for the rest of the day.
3rd thing that I look forward to are those msn nick that u put. It will always be nice.

From pet society, to msn, to msn nick, things started to stop one by one. I no longer received any gift or messages anymore. Everyday when I log in, there's only one letter that I have won in a lottery. Sometimes when there is gift the first person that came to my mind is u. The excitement of opening up the gift only came to a disappoinment when I click on it.
Weeks have gone and the excitement I had logging in to facebook is gone. Totally gone. Even when there's a gift, I no longer think that is u cos I know it won't be u anymore.
But there's still msn to chat right? I thought. Days passed and the topic we talk about are getting lesser and lesser. It is always 1 or 2 words reply from u. That was when I realised we got nothing more to talk about. It will always be how's ur day? Remember ur lunch/dinner and bye.
No more phone calls or sms.
No more nice or sweet msn nick.

I realised, there's nothing for me to look forward to anymore. And days passed and weeks passed, I gave all my time to Jian. I only got him whoI can act childish and kiddy and whine to. Only him to pamper me.

The problem lies in the both of us. Time is not on our side. U are not totally to blame. Is it fate?
People says, when it is urs it will be urs. I find it true. So no point struggling.


I can't breathe anymore.