Kidnap my heart.

Monday, March 30, 20093:15 PM

1 more day to my paper.

Business Stats tomorrow followed by Higher Accounting on Thursday.

Wish me luck!

Thursday, March 19, 200910:30 AM

I had a great night yesterday. Meet er jie after work and we headed to Bedok for dinner while waiting for Bei Fen cos she finished work late. While having dinner, we shared a table with 2 uncles. The uncles talked to us. They were quite humourous but abit lame also. When Bei Fen called, we just walk off and say bye bye to them cos we didn't want to talk to them. Walk to the place and look for Alan. He dress so smartly yesterday. Waited for Bei Fen to finish her dinner there and we went in to listen to the talk first while waiting for the artist to get their make up done. It was about our skin and how to take care of our skin. After they were done, we were called into the room. My partner was so nervous and when I sat down she ask me not to blame her if she put until very ugly. I sit until my butt is numb. They are not so pro and my partner keep on asking her teacher to help while her friend help me to style my hair. I was the last to finish. The moment they said it was done I was so excited and I turn around to see how Bei Fen and my sis looks like. My first sentence was, my sister very pretty leh. Her hairstyle was nicely done and I told her if I know, I would choose her partner instead of mine. Then they line us up to get ready for our walk. I told er jie I am very nervous when I heard the music and people clapping and cheering outside. Initially I thought all of us go out together, then I saw them going out one by one I was more nervous. But when it was my turn I don’t feel nervous already. I don’t dare to look at the audience so I keep on looking at the wall. When I walk in to the front, I only see a lot of flash light from the camera. Before we went out, there was an Indian model wearing Sari. So me, er jie and Bei Fen was joking about her but surprisingly when she walk out, she got the loudest clap. Lol. I can't stop laughing. After the model finished, it was the students turn followed by the model together with the partner. It was quite fun, something I had never experienced before.
After the whole was done, we took some pictures and mingle around with people I know from Amway. Er Jie and Bei Fen was quite bored I guess, but I really don't feel like going home. I always had fun talking to them. I had no choice but to go off cos Er Jie keep on asking me to go off. Went off at 10 plus and we cab home. I was so tired.
Had a great night with Bei Fen too. Didn't see her for a long time.

Some photos to share:

Backview of Er Jie's hair. I love her hair.

Backview of my hair. Er Jie said it suits me a lot cos the hairstyle look very wild which suits my character. So I told her cos the artist see my face and she knows I am a very wild girl. :)

Backview of Bei Fen's hair. Looks very cute but Bei Fen find it very weird.

3 models of the night. Gorgeous?

The Laopos

Me and Yan. She is very motherly.

Me and my make up artist

Bei Fen and her make up artist

Er Jie and her make up artist

Last photo before we go

Home sweet home

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Tuesday, March 17, 20092:26 PM

I'm glad to receive news from my mum that both my cousins STPM results is out!
For those who got no ideas what STPM is, STPM=A level.

And i'm proud to say my younger cousin, Sin Zi got 3As and 1B. Smart right? She even appear in the newspaper as the most outstanding student. OMG! That will never happen to me. Haha. Sin Yi also did well, but not as good as Sin Zi. She got 3Bs and 1A. Well, to some people it is not very good, but to me, I find that she is already very smart cos I can never get that results. Haha. So far for all the papers i've took, a pass for me and I will be satisfied. :) I'm not into study, and since young I had this nickname from my family members that they always call me stupid. Ok, I admit. So what if I can't produce good results? I know i've tried hard enough. I still believe I will success one day.
These few days, every night before I sleep, I keep on thinking about the talks i've heard for Amway. And I think I have started to think strangely. Whenever I see stranger standing beside me or somewhere not very far from me, be it aunty, uncle, young man/lady, I always got the urge to talk to them. Shit, why am I feeling this way?

Tomorrow there will be students graduating from make-up course and they need 3 models. I asked er jie to be one of them. :) Yan asked me to be one of them but I told her I don't know how to do catwalk, and I got stage fright. Lol. When Er Jie found out that she need to do catwalk on the stage she was quite reluctant but luckily I still manage to persuade her to go. :)
I'm so excited tomorrow to see how they do make up. If the outcome is good, I might consider taking up the course.

2 more weeks to exam. Jia you!

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Monday, March 16, 20092:59 PM

A not wasted weekend I had. Went to Bukit Timah to drink with Jia Wei and his friend after work on Friday. The pub got very little people. Not that fun. And I didn't sing at all cos er jie is not there to sing with me. Still prefer Vic sometimes, at least still got people I know. Had dinner at pasta mania first before we went there. Received an sms from Jian that he had an accident and I couldn't contact him after I received that msg. Really scare me and got me worried. So I called er jie and called his mum. Er jie said Jian got into accident I still got the mood to drink. :) No news from him till 11 plus then he called. Felt relief that he is safe. We finished our drinks quite fast around 12 then we got nowhere to go so I suggested to go home cos I felt tired when the drink has finished. Went Toa Payoh for lesson on Saturday. Lesson starts at 7pm and I went out from house at 6.45pm. Was super late and I took a cab there. Plus peak hour charge cost me 20 bucks. A bit heart pain. Lesson was so damn boring and I feel like sleeping. Wasted my 30 bucks for it. Cos it was extra class so that lesson cost 30 bucks. After lesson I went to City Hall to meet Gui Qing. Our plan was to go Dbl O initially, but then turns up there are only 5 of us and the queue was long, so we went to rebel instead. I was quite happy also, cos I don’t like Dbl O. I had lots of fun. It has been a long time since I am this happy. No worries about restriction or phone ringing to ask me to go home. Marcus ordered shots for our 1st drink that makes Gui Qing not feeling well due to girls’ problem. Think Marcus and me drank the most and we keep on ordering. Spent most of the time at the dance floor and I had lots of fun. Desmond was the odd one out, really pity him. Lol. Home at 4 plus and cab home with Gui Qing. By the time I reach home is near to 5am and I have to wake up the next day at 7am for the Amway class. Afterall, I find is it worth it cos this is the first time I really enjoyed. Other times when I went, either someone will emo then the rest will console her or someone who got really drunk and everyone take care of him/her. Wasted a lot of time there like that. This time we went home happily without problems coming and I’m really glad. The previous time to rebel was fun also, but the later part was spoiled. So I still enjoyed this time most. :) Uploaded some outdated pic.

My Best friend for 11 years, but seldom take pictures with her. Haha.

Me and Marcus

The previous time at Rebel

Force myself to wake up on Sunday. Was really damn tired and I drag myself out. When I reach Bedok, called keong but he just woke up. Was quite piss lah, luckily I didn’t had my breakfast, so I went for breakfast while waiting for him. Was quite tired during the class and I doze off quite a few times. Keep on looking at the clock and hope that time pass faster. Imagine sitting there listening to talks from 10-6pm.

Finally it was 6 and I was really very happy. Went back to Woodlands to meet Yan and Ken for dinner. Didn’t see Ken for months and kinda miss him. He is still as gentleman. Had a nice chat with them. Home sweet home after that and I was dead tired and I end my day early at 11pm.
Realised I still got lots of homework to finished and the deadline is tomorrow. Help me please. Oh, and I’ve found my entry proof. Lucky me. :)

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Thursday, March 12, 20093:13 PM

Stress. Fucked up day. I hate it when it comes to year end processing. I'm having headache today.

Firstly, I cannot find my entry proof for the exam. How? How? How? How am I going to enter the exam hall?

Secondly, I cannot figure out what's wrong with the account when there's error. I really wish there's a professional accountant here to help me now.

Yesterday when I walk out from the office, I feel that I don't have the strength to walk, feel as if I had just run a marathon. My legs are tired. But I was sitted all along in the office. I didn't run, stand or walk. Guess I was just too tired facing the computer for few hours looking at numbers.

I stare at the statement for 10 mins hoping that particular number can tell me what is the error that was created, but no, $2640.00 was so selfish that it keep it to itself without telling me how that number came out and I gave up cos I think the rest of the amount has the same character as $2640.00 that keep everything to themself. As my table is so damn bloody messy that looks like a home for rubbish, I was afraid all the rubbish will walk to my seats cos they find it too confortable and suitable for them and camp here, so I decided to clear my table and now my table and seats are so neat. :)
10 mins ago my table was still in a mess. I am so proud of myself looking at my table now cos it seems like I have finished all my work. :) Actually there are still lots of it to be done. But I kept it so that I can't see them and pretend I got nothing to do so that I won't feel so stress.
Woohoo, I am so free now. I can't see $2640.00 and the rest. They are sleeping soundly under the file. I am so nice to them. I still use a file to cover them so that they won't feel cold in the office. I hope after I treat them so nicely, later they will tell me what's wrong with them and help me to figure out the error so that life will be easier for me. :)

And I pray that tonight my entry proof will come to me and sleep beside me. Sorry entry proof, I neglect u for so long that u run away from home. Come and find me tonight and I promised I will treat u better.

Hahaha. I know I am insane. Most probably nobody can understand this post except for myself. How can numbers talk to me? Argh! I feel like sleeping. I'm tired. I need a rest. Why Mr Bala doesn't want to cancel the lesson tonight? And i'm having lesson 3 times a week. On a SATURDAY NIGHT! Who will have the mood to study on a SATURDAY NIGHT?

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Tuesday, March 10, 20094:51 PM

I'm back yesterday night.

Suddenly I feel that no one cares for me, my feelings, my thoughts.

I wish to have my freedom and nobody to control what i'm doing. I hate to be controlled. To seek permission wherever I go is stupid. To beg someone or to see their stupid faces or attitude. Why am I doing this? They are not my parents. Why do I have to beg them? I do not owe them anything. It's not like they are the one who brought me up like what my parents did. What do I owe them?

Suddenly I got this thought of just switching off my phone so that I am able to do what I like and what I want. I don't want to be controlled anymore.

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Thursday, March 5, 20093:21 PM

I'm flying off tonight again to Sabah.

Take care everyone. See u guys around soon!

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Wednesday, March 4, 200910:19 AM

Bcos nobody is perfect, u are likely to fall in love with someone as close to perfect as you can.

Assuming ur partner is 80% perfect to ur ideals. u meet someone who is maybe 70% to ur ideals. but for the 20% that ur partner is missing, this other someone has. It is easy for u to compare how come this person has all these qualities ur partner never had. But u have to remember why u choose ur partner, his/her good points and why u first fell in love with him/her.

A lot of people start to stray when the relationship sours. I think its very normal. Guys do it, girls do it too. Its very common for someone to look for satisfaction elsewhere when they are not satisfied with their own relationship (not sexually, but as a general satisfaction). Bcos its easier to buy a new product than to replace a broken product by repairing it.

I think most of us would agree here. I've finally realised this and write out something meaningful. What he said was right. I hope what I wrote here helps u to decide what u want. She's a new product and i'm a broken product. It will be easier for u to love her like what u said. Replacing a broken product takes lots of energy, u said u have no more energy to fight for our love anymore so don't be undecided anymore. I hope I have help u in some ways to make ur decision and know what u want.

Yes, i've paid the price for it. Paid the price for toying around, then getting hurt and grieving over.

Feeling very down recently. Nothing happen. But sometimes when we are alone, people tends to think a lot. He send me to school yesterday and the mood was different. No matter how I tried to talk, how he tried to laugh, the feeling was just different. No matter how hard I tried to pay attention, my mind was somewhere else. Couldn't finish the test. I guess Mr Bala has given up on me. Just when I was going for a break, he collected homework from us but I didn't do. Luckily I was outside the class, but I heard him calling my name. My classmate told me that he wants me to stay back and do. So we were joking that he treats me like a primary or secondary school students that teacher stay us back to finish up our homework. My mood isn't that good. Why he didn't ask others that didn't hand up to stay back except for me? Think of the positive side, cos he wants to see me more? Well, I know it is for my own good. Maybe he just wants me to learn.

Was so hungry after lesson. For the first time I feel so lonely walking out after lesson on my own. Nobody to had dinner with me and no one to talk to. I didn't feel like going home. I went to get a cup corn for myself and sit at a corner to eat. Normally I will take out my phone and start calling. Things were all so different yesterday. Wanted to talk to er jie when I reach home but she was asleep. Mummy was not home yet. So I tried to sleep. End up I wake up and watch drama till I fell asleep.

I need a break

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