Kidnap my heart.

Wednesday, April 29, 20093:59 PM

Basketball match tonight again. Hopefully it won't be as boring as the previous one.

There's so many things I want to say. I want to tell u. I miss the times when I can tell someone things that happen in my life everyday. Everyday after work or lesson. The non-stop chat that we once had till I fall asleep.
Mum says I am a very talkative girl by nature cos I always talk non stop and I can even talk to strangers for very long. I still remember ex boss always say I am sociable because I know everyone in the shopping mall after one week of working there and got discount everywhere.
I seems to be more quiet nowadays. I really feel like talking. The moment my phone rang, I am very excited, I can't wait to tell u everything happen today, somehow when I answer the phone something is stopping me from talking. I can't seems to say out things I want to say. I don't have the mood to talk anymore. I feel very uncomfortable. Before I sleep every night, I feel that something is missing. There's something I haven't do yet. And that is talking to u. There are so many things I want to say. I want to say about the basketball match I watch, I want to say about the new songs I heard, the meaningful lyrics, the things happen at work, the things happen during lesson. I tried talking to myself and it makes me feel better. No, i'm not insane talking to myself. But saying out makes me feel better.
I got very few girlfriends. It is not that I don't want to. I just don't have. Don't ask me why. The close one I had is only Gui Qing and Bei Fen. Don't they need to do their own things? Ask me why i'm always going out with guys, cos I only got guy friends.. I thought of what u said, I look at the contact in my hp, I tried smsing few girls that I had in my contact list. Some that I never contact for few years. U said that the programmes that I had was only pub or club or going out with guys. I asked the girls out tomorrow (even when I had already planned going to club tomorrow night with friends) I give up the clubbing part, but what are the reply those girlfriends gave? None are free. It is so easy asking guys out than asking girls out and I don't want to stay at home alone when u are not free.
I admit clubbing is my interest. I am not like this before. Ask me why I am changing my lifestyle now? I don't really know. A friend of mine told me this:"sometimes its not we wanna club or pub or hook up guys or watever, its the emptiness that lies within, dunno where to find the things tt's able to fill it up." I find it true.
I am so sick of doing sacrifices for the one I love. Do I get the same from u? I've wasted 6 years being a slave. I wish to have a life on my own. Relationships, are complicated. It’s when u forget the other person, their feelings and their gifts that u begin to take them for granted. Many times u feel as if u have become an object rather than a treasured companion... ...

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