Kidnap my heart.

Wednesday, April 1, 200912:22 PM

I love my dad cos he send me to work today. Haha. Pretty lame I know. This morning when I woke up, I feel so damn lazy that I have to train to work today. And I think of the crowd of people taking trains in the morning and me standing all the way from Woodlands to Paya Lebar I was so damn lazy to go to work la. Then Edric still call me to wake me up for work (cos he is going to KL this morning) so that I won't be late and wasting money to take cab and it reminds me of taking train to work again. Yawnz.
How I wish I can strike toto or 4D and get myself a licence and a car. Haha.

So I thought mummy's friend will be sending her to work cos I saw mummy preparing to go for work, and I will always hitch a ride from her colleague to office but mummy said oh, there is no driver today. Haiz. Then daddy ask me to help him to do something so I told him I will be late for work if I help him. The thought then just came to my mind, and I just try my luck and said, u send me to work then I help u la. He was very reluctant then after awhile he said ok la. I was super happy as if I just strike a 1 million toto. Lol.
Somemore my dad is the lazy type who will always send halfway then ask u to take train from there. But today he send me to my office block I was so happy. :) and dad seldom do that. Only my sis and mum will know. Somemore my dad came back very late from work every night like 4 or 5am. I was surprise that he actually woke up so early today. :) Perhaps god pity me for studying for exams and knows that I am tired. Lol.

Enough of all the crap, talking about exam, yesterday was having Business Statistic paper. It was quite ok. Hopefully can pass. Higher accounting paper tomorrow. I have zero confidence. I just hope the paper will be over and I can go for party, drinks and fun nights out again.

I had a bad dream yesterday night again. Yes, AGAIN. Recently, and very often, I always dreamt of someone's death. It could be someone close to me, or someone not very close to me. I don't know why I always dream of a person's death when they are still alive. Chinese belief that if u dream of someone's death, then u will have a shorter life and give ur few years of life to that someone who u dreamt of. If it is really true, then I guess I had already give 20 years of life to alot of people. Lol.
So I was curious about my dreams and I went to google for the interpretation. I nearly laugh out loud in the office when I read it.
"Intensely dramtic or emotional death dreams may occur for the addict or alcholic not yet commited to the recovery process."
I guess it was due to my alcohol addict already lor. Somemore due to the exams, I didn't drink for like 2 weeks going to 3 weeks already.

Didn't blog for quite long already cos I was preparing for my exams. I am not acting studious hor, like most of my friends said. I just want to clear everything and not to stress about it anymore. Somemore 1 paper cost me 120 bucks and I am paying it on my own ok? Not like many others out there who still got mummy or daddy to pay for ur school fees, exam fees and everything. Ever since I finished my Os, I seldom or should I say never, take money from my parents anymore. Poor me. :(

Last Sunday, my whole family went to Johor for Ching Ming(Remembrance of Ancestors Day). Was quite happy lah, cos seldom got the chance that the whole family went out together in my dad's car which I always miss during our childhood day. And we will chat, joke and everything together. But last Sunday is not like the past anymore. I'm the only one who is doing most of the talking in the car I guess. Well, as among the 3 of us, i'm closer with my dad. Don't know why both my sis seldom talk to him, but I always try to talk to him even we don't have many common topics to talk about. But most of the times I will try to find some topics about cars, carpark, HDB or govt things to talk to him. Sometimes when it is only me and him we talk about the past and his past with mummy too. Sometimes he even told me about his 2nd wife when he and mummy divorce. I guess maybe I am more open-minded and can talk about everything in the world which was what mummy says about me. Can u imagine that mummy's colleague can talk to me about how he is mesmerize about my mum? I can even talk about such things with him when I don't know him well. Lol.

GRANDPARENTS STORY
OK, back to ching ming, we went to great grandmother's grave first then to my grandfather's grave. Then I thought of the times when my grandfather pass away at the funeral. Grandma was still there helping out and telling "stories" about my grandpa. Then I thought of how badly my grandpa used to treat her in the past. I can say my grandpa is not a very good husband. He used to gamble alot, drinks alot and always abuse my grandma. Thought I nv see it, when I think of it I feel quite sad for her. I can't imagine if I am being treated this way by my future husband, I think I will just divorce him and press charges against him. So I think all these years, my grandma is very strong cos he nv went out to find other guys again when they are separated. Neither do my grandpa. But he still drink and gamble. But since I was born, if I see my grandpa, I won't see grandma, if I see grandma, I won't see grandpa. That's bcos they never want to see each other and avoid seeing each other. Can u imagine a husband and wife never see each other for like 40 years? And during the days that my grandpa was hospitalised for a few months, my grandma didn't went to visit him too. But I don't know what change my grandma mind that suddenly one day my grandma went to visit him, definitely she won't go alone, she went with her sister. The moment my grandpa saw her, he cried. Till now I still don't know the reason why he cried, but I guess bcos he was touched by my grandma? Maybe he was guilty that all those years he nv cherish her but abuse her and treated her badly in the past?
I forget what was their conversations cos it happen a few years ago and I still don't understand what is love at that time.
But since then, my grandma still visit him sometimes. I think all these years grandma was just waiting for grandpa to apologise to her cos grandma is the egoistic but soft hearted type. Girls and women are all like that what. Or maybe my family girls got this type of genes cos all my female relatives are like that.
During the night when the hospital called, grandma actually went out like 1am to johor to see him for the last time. And before my grandpa was dying, he couldn't talk anymore. My grandma was beside him, touching him, sayang him and ask him to rest peacefully. Grandpa was in tears and he pass away.
I was thinking so are there still love when they were old? Somemore they never see each other for 40 years and all this while they hated each other. If I were grandma, I won't forgive my husband for treating me that way. So grandma is really very forgiving. What makes me suddenly think about all this cos when we went to grandpa's grave, grandma's name was beside ma, but they use a red towel to cover it cos my grandma is still alive la. How can someone wants to be buried with someone who used to abuse her?

Anyway, I shouldn't be blogging here, got to to revise on higher accounting.

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