Things are not going smoothly. Really hate this feeling. I hope everything will be alright soon.

Yesterday night I waited for Jian to finish work and go home together with him. Was in a rush to go back and feed my dog. Then got some problems with Jian. Luckily it was a minor one. Meet kor at Causeway point then he send me home. Went home to feed Coco. Make dinner for Jian. It has been so long since I last cook dinner. I love to cook but hate to wash up after cooking. Haha. Pack the dinner nicely and went to find Jian to had dinner together with him. Everything still ok before that and I was so happy that it feels like the past again.
Wasn't feeling well. Backache a lot. Also don't know why. Jian help me massage and I went to sleep. But we quarrel in the end when going home. Someone sms then he got angry. Really damn stress lah. I hate it that I have to quarrel with him everytime I receive sms from other guy. I'm really scare that I will lost a lot of friend someday. Luckily this morning when Edric sms me he was not with me. If not I sure die. I'm just thinking, is people want to msg me that way, I can't do anything to stop them. I never even reply them in the same way, why do he need to get angry?

This morning a lot of problems occur. Haiz. Daddy still never change. I knew it. Since young, I know he always gamble. Started with 4D and toto first, now horse betting. Initially I still thought it was not that worst as long as it doesn't affect the family. Somehow I feel it is going to come sooner or later. This morning it is the first time I need to raise $1000 plus in a day. How to? Then Jian scolded me for being late for going to work. I asked him to go to work first but he thought I asked him to wait for him to go to work together. End up he shouted at me over the phone. I cried because i'm already stress enough. I'm sad that when he heard me cried he scolded me more instead of asking me for the reason I cry. Daddy was pissed off with him, mummy scolded me also ask me to leave him. I'm really damn stress up already. Jian was angry with Daddy problem. He asked me not to care about him. Tell me how am I able to? He is my dad no matter how bad he is. Especially when I see him begging to me. Sometimes daddy still quite concern for us. He is at least not a heartless dad. I did not agree to help, but I am still thinking of a way to help him raise the amount he need. I just don't want to show. I hope he understand.

Well, everything will be over soon. I hope it will... ...