Been working at boat quay for 2 days. 1st day at work sucks like hell. is totally so unlike jimm's. Boss or the staff there nv teach me anything or tell me what to do at all. Not like jimm's where the staff will teach us what to do. Everyone there just do their own things. All i did was just being ask by boss to go to the table to drink and drink. Even when I was damn high and drunk already I still need to act normal to show that i'm ok. Boss still ask me to help him drink. Mindset is damn important lah. I vomited once in the toilet and act normal to go back to drink again. Can't wait to finish work. None of the waitress help to keep the glass and everything. Nobody care whether u are alright anot. No teamwork at all. I still prefer jimm's. The moment I finish work and see Eric outside, I feel like hugging him to cry. I told him if half way through the journey home if I tap him means I want to vomit le. Manage to control till I reach home. Fell down at the toilet. Don't want to let Eric see me in this state but I cannot tahan already. Think he also feel heart pain for me. Haiz. If not for the money I won't want to torture myself like that. Had nightmares that i'm still drinking with those customer. Keep on tah and tah. Didn't sleep well due to the nightmares.
Wake up in the morning and still feel very unwell. Took mc. Vomited again. The feeling sucks. Eric ask me not to work anymore when he see me like that. ):
Went back to sleep till evening and chatted with Qing. Really miss her alot. I feel like going over to find her and hug her and complain everything to her. Miss those times working at jimm's with her. And I know how worried she is when i'm working at boat quay. There's one thing i'm proud abt myself is that I really can take care of myself well over there no matter how much I drink and learn to be more independent. Realize that i've been relying too much on Qing during the times at jimm's. Now I understand how xin ku she is.

The thought of going back to work at night yesterday totally turns me off. For the first time I fear so much in drinking. I feel like vomiting whenever I smell alcohol. Yesterday still ok. I learn how to siam and gei siao already. Can say luckily got one table of customer are very nice ppl who wont force waitress to drink. And cos they are boss friend and very good drinker, boss wont say anything if the waitress sit at their table for too long. I spend most of the time sitting at that table cos I don't want to be like the day before. I find that I drink very little yesterday already but I still got the vomiting feeling but I keep on controlling and try not to vomit.
Had lots of beer yesterday instead. But most of the glass was being ask to bottoms up. Still had martell with beer. Can't take it. So for the rest of the night I try to find other things to do like washing the glass, refilling the mixer and ice etc. Think boss think that I didn't do a good job yesterday cos I drink quite little. But for me I think it is alot already. Somemore I didn't eat much. Bought some sandwich there but there's no time for me to eat. Really miss working at jimm's alot. The customer, boss and staff there are much more better.

Kena road block yesterday when Eric was sending me home. I was so scare that he will fail the test cos he got drink a bit at his friends ROM. Luckily he pass if not I will feel damn guilty cos he come and fetch me from work then kena caught.

I'm so glad that I don't have to work tonight. :) I want to take a rest. Seeing alcohol now makes me want to puke.